War and Destruction
by lucratcia
Summary: A brief look into Heero's mind. One shot.


AN: I have this thing called a muse. Its a little gerbil named Herb. He lives inside my head with his little spinny thingy wheel. He was dead, I was sure of it. But no, he's alive and apparently quite well. His feet are just a moving in there and giving me a headache. So, hopefully this is a short and painless fic to write.

_bla bla bla_ meaning song lyrics

bla blah blah meaning thoughts/memories

Warnings: Meh... no yaoi? That should be a warning.

Disclaimer: Song is "Angel's Punishment" by lacuna coil. Awesome singers with omg voices. :P And if I owned GW I wouldn't be writing, I would be too busy playing with them...in bed.

_Destruction_

War

Destruction and war. That is all there is. It has begun. It began as we fell to Earth one by one. We were the catylist.

There is nothing else. Blood is upon our hands. Cities and military bases fall beneath us. Those who stand against us will be destroyed and will die.

_To fight in defence  
Forgotten words  
of friendly hate_

To defend the colonies. To avenge Heero Yuy's assasination. That is why were were sent to Earth, to break the Alliance's hold on outer space.

Destroy them.

Destroy OZ.

When did we become so hated by those that we are to defend?

Traitors...

Terrorists...

Killers...

__

war - destruction  
war - destruction

I don't know why  
A soul deceased  
A broken hope  
A choking breeze

We are young, none older than sixteen. Our souls we left behind as we fight, as we kill. We fight for freedom. We fight for those that wish to live in their own peace. We kill for a cause. We fight so those weaker than ourselves will not have to so they will not be controlled. We fight for the greater good for those that believe in hope. We are nothing else.

This is what we are.

Right?

This is what we do?

Right?

_war - destruction  
war - destruction_

Can't you take me away from your lies?  
Can't you take me away from your lies?

Can't you take me away from your lies?

Each of us have screamed this inside our heads. We don't want to be these endless killing machines. Lies of a tomorrow. Lies of a better life. Maybe for the colonies. Maybe even for Earth. But what about us? Where are we to go? We are not wanted on Earthly ground and Space does not accept us. Where will we go? What will we do?

Everything will not be all right! It's not going to be ok!

Take me away from this. Take away all this killing that I am made to do.

Can't you take me away from your lies?

__

Destruction

Dark paradise  
Collecting souls  
To analize

A laugh forces its way past my lips, though I did not call it forth. Two mobile suits fall to the ground, in pieces. Blood sprays from the openings I have made. Not a scratch on Wing was made. And I laugh. Two more dead. Two more nameless soldiers with nameless families have died by my hand alone. I laugh. More are coming. More to die, because I can not. I dare not.

At night the screaming nightmares come. My mind is not focused on battle. My body is rigid as I try to sleep. But they come for me. The ghosts of those that I have killed. Their families, they want revenge. The pilots of the gundams must die. Their words, their gunshots, their knives, their punches... They all cut through me destroying what little sleep I try to manage before I return to the battlefield to kill more.

The screaming starts. It does not stop. Only later do I realise that the screams is the laughter pouring from my lips.

__

war - destruction  
war - destruction

The bitter blood  
of a children's cry  
inside the truth  
far from my sky

It's snowing, but there is no wind. Not even sirens from the police or the clean up crews are going off right now. It is so silent that the snowflakes can be heard as they slowly fall to the ground. Behind me, the base is destroyed, I left nothing to stand. I look up though, and see the civilian buildings that I destroyed along with the military base. It was an accident. But this war. I am Heero Yuy. I do not make mistakes...or so I am told.

"Are you lost?" the young girl asked me. Her dog was panting with its tongue hanging out. It gave a little bark in my direction.

"I have always been lost," I reply. She hands me a little flower and giggles. She ran off just moments afterward.

My feet crunch through the snow. My sneakers are already soaked through, leaving my feet wet and cold. But, I feel nothing. In front of me, almost completely covered in snow is that small dog. The dog that belonged to that little girl. And I have killed them both. I want to cry, I think, to feel something, anything.

"This is war! You do not feel. There is no room for guilt. There will always be civilian casualties in war! Do not be so weak Heero Yuy!

_  
war - destruction  
war - destruction_

Can't you take me away from your lies?  
Can't you take me away from your lies?

I have broken through. The building where Merimeia is holding Relena is finally destroyed. The last blast from my buster rifle has destroyed Wing, my gundam is all but useless right now.

I stumble out of the cockpit, somehow making it to the ground. I must save Relena. I must make sure she is safe. It hurts to breathe. At least one rib is broken, perhaps a couple more. There is blood, a lot of it. It is my own this time. I do not have to worry about another soldier coming for me in my sleep. It's my blood this time, just mine.

I find my way throug the wreckage. It was not easy even for the likes of me. The child is hurt, but she has caused much more than what could ever be done to her. I pull out my gun. I'm surprised I've managed to hold onto it through the recent battle. The child, she is younger than even the youngest of us gundam pilots. Just a baby really. Where is her mother? Where is her father?

No matter. She must die. The last one that I have to kill. This I must do.

I point my gun her. Her eyes are locked with mine. Her's are full of resignation and an understanding. Such a young thing knowing that she deserves to die. Soembody is screaming in the background. Maybe it is Relena, or one of the others that surround us in this small room. It does not matter. I pull the trigger.

"I have killed Merimeia," I say. I sigh as the blackness finally overwhelms me and I fall to the ground.__

Can't you take me  
Can't you take me  
Can't you take me  
Can't you take me


End file.
